THE FUNCTION OF FAMILY

She threw the blinds open 
Brightness spilling into the room we all shared
I yelled & she yelled back, 
Bratty and rude 
like a sister 

I spent more than 3 decades running from what I called a family 
Clawing for a shred of what could be called independence 
Towards an identity and a future where I called them less 
And less
Until I got the call about his sister 

Him and I, we get along fine 
But I didn’t realize family forms as a function of time 
As a function of being there, just being there
I never knew how much I cared 

Or maybe I didn’t until their family became like mine
Suicide 
Depression
Tragedy 
Gun points and ODs

I pushed and bullied this family decision 
From the first night you forced me to
I cringed inside 
A strange man in our house 
I had to eat it like cake
Until I was 18 and aged for escape 

I don’t remember the first time I met them
But I remember that I’ve known them half my life now
We were innocent, all of us babies
And family forms as a function of time 

I’ve heard stories on stories about family 
But don’t let the dating shows fool you 
We’re millennials, nothing is sacred 
And most of us believe family is something you build 

Our therapists teach us of boundaries 
We become statues of liberty and “I” statements 
We put our arms out straight to gauge the distance 
We roam far and plant ourselves where we feel best 

But blood or not, what we don’t know is our roots are ancient 
It makes sense, they’re in the ground and hard to see
But our tangled trauma and dark corners weave our bedding 
Troubled and bleeding, beyond denial, beyond escape and illness, formed beyond us, as us, exists
Our family